Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The many moods of little Miss Mini-Me

I'm scared. Last week Milly and I had a stand off. She wanted to steal some of Henry's lunch, the same lunch that was sitting in her bowl in front of her. When I pointed this out to her she swiped her bowl off the table spilling it all over the floor with a look of defiance. I explained to her that we don't throw our food on the floor and could she please pick up her bowl. She shook her head. I repeated myself and she shook her head again and walked away. This went on for a while with my voice taking a more serious tone as I was getting nowhere. She struggled against me when I picked her up and brought her back to where her bowl sat upturned on the floor. And just to demonstrate how determined she was not to pick up the bowl she started to throw a tantrum. There was wailing, real tears, rolling about on the floor, hitting the fridge, stamping the feet. I just calmly sat on the floor looking at her............and so the battle of wills began.

If Milly wants something and the answer is no, she throws a tantrum. If she's told to stop because she might break something or hurt herself, she throws a tantrum. I know because she can't talk she's just expressing her displeasure with what she's being told, but my oh my she expresses her displeasure to the extreme. She is stubborn, likes to do things her own way, laughs at other people's misfortunes - she is just like me. And on the day we did battle I found myself looking at a mini-me and knew neither of us was going to give in.

For a good ten minutes the crying and rolling on the floor continued. Milly had worked herself into such a state she was now hysterical. I tried to comfort her and get her to calm down but she didn't want anything to do with me. She ran up the hall and back, then into a room and slammed the door. This turned out to be the deal breaker - on slamming the door behind her she realised she couldn't reach the handle to open it. There was silence, no crying, nothing. I opened the door a little and went back to where I was sitting on the floor. Slowly the door opened further and a little face peered out. I opened my arms and she came and gave me a hug and I told her it was alright. I asked if she could please pick up her bowl. Without hesitation she toddled over to her bowl and it picked up and some of the food as well.

Some parents advise picking your battles with your kids. Milly is only 16 months old. I'm scared of what she's going to be like in a few years when she can talk, and worse what she'll be like when she's a teenager. One thing is for sure. I know it was the first of many battles and I'm sure I won't win them all.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow Tiff, you did great, well done. It is hard work dealing with a will like that but wonderully funny to be able to tell the boyfriends in 20 years time! Keep up the good work and try and get yourself on the telly. There is a programme here called Supernanny, where a woman goes into family homes and teaches parents how to deal with 'Millys'. You could do that with no problem.
Can;t wait to hear what jackie comments... ha ha xxxx
Aunty Kathy

Anonymous said...

Ooooh it sounds like Keira all over again... but she is now five and fabulous so maybe she will not torture you for too long!!!

Cal xxx

PS... She is so cute she might just get away with anything anyway!

Anonymous said...

Hi Aunty Kathy.

Maybe I'm viewing her through rose coloured glasses but I can't remember Tiff being so strong willed. I do remember though, times when I felt enormous relief and peace by putting her in her room. I was pretty patient so she must have deserved it.

Milly I am sure, has a lot of her late great grandma in her, so she won't be messed with and will know how to get her own way. Go Milly and good luck to the rest of us.

Nanoo/Jackie xx

Anonymous said...

Maybe its the dress Tiff... Whoever gets to wear it grows a temper hehehe .. Reminds me of Bettina.. We use to have big fights end up in tears (both of us) now I have started a new technique I just tell her its not very nice .... it seems to work most of the time..She turned two on Monday and th etantrums started the next day!!! I love reading your blog. Big hug to Milly & Henry..